2005-2011 Blog

Working With a Certifiable A**hole

Yes, you read it correctly – a**hole. It’s freeing to be able to say it out loud and in print (well, almost), thanks to Robert Sutton, the Stanford professor who wrote the 2007 book titled, The No A**hole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One that Isn’t. Sutton was able to use the double S in his book title. I, of course, can’t do that here because it won’t fly with LinkedIn, Facebook and other places where my blogs get posted.

The reason I bring this up now is that the other day I was talking with a senior manager who was remarking about what a great group he was leading. That came as a shocker since I knew that before he’d taken over the department last year there’d been no shortage of motivation killers at the managerial level. I asked how he’d accomplished this little miracle. His response? “We managed the worst ones out and now have a ‘jerk screen’ in place to weed out potential a**holes before they’re hired. I figured he’d read Sutton’s book but he hadn’t even heard of it. Looks like this guy didn’t need any advice about what to do with the trouble-makers. “I don’t for a minute tolerate bad behavior by anyone, no matter how brilliant” is how he put it. Compared to what I’m seeing elsewhere, this is unusual.

Now you’d think, or at least I did, that since Sutton’s book hit the top of the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and Business Week best seller lists and was all the rage among the business community when it came out four years ago, that there would have been plenty of time to clean up the workplace. Apparently not. Except for the guy above, I know of no others who’ve been able to clear out the extremely difficult ones – or as Sutton put it, the “certifiable a**holes.”

Sutton distinguishes between “temporary a**holes” -- those who on rare occasions fly into a fit due to stress or something like it, and the “certifiable ones -- the mean-spirited individuals who prey upon anyone lower than they are on the organizational totem pole. It’s the certifiable ones that cause the most distress in the workplace. Yet, they remain.

A relative of mine works for a guy who has a daily habit of psychologically torturing anyone in his path who’s below him on the org chart. And that’s just about everyone since he’s an SVP. Recently he phoned several of his staff at home late on a Friday night and demanded that they work the weekend because he ‘knew’ that they hadn’t worked that hard during the week. He warned that anyone who didn’t show up on Saturday morning would be fired. A few days before that he flung everything except his computer off his desk because his admin hadn’t told him about an upcoming meeting. She had, and it was on his calendar. But he claimed that she should have reminded him. What is she, his babysitter? People have complained to HR, but to no avail. Since psychological harassment is practically impossible to prove in the State they work in, complainers as they’ve been called, have been told to figure out how to deal with the guy. What’s wrong with THAT picture?

I worked for a certifiable a**hole once who was a screamer and seemed to enjoy belittling underlings in public. I quit, but I was a student and only working part time so it was no big deal to move on. It wasn’t until a couple of years and several other dead bodies in the road later that the boss finally woke up to the problem and fired her. And that was only because the evil-doer went off in front of senior leadership so the boss had to finally do something.

Why do we stand for it? We’re afraid, very afraid. One wrong move and we’re out the door. And in this economy, where’s the next job? So we suck it up while little by little these monsters destroy our lives. The bigger question is why does management let this go on without recourse? Is it fear, cowardice, or are they simply blinded by the smell of profits? Mystifying.

We all should get Sutton’s book and collectively start an all-out campaign to rid our offices of this a**hole behavior. We’re falling behind as a country economically. What we don’t need are workplaces where we can no longer do our best while the rest of the world passes us by.

I’d say that social intelligence seems to be lacking among the perpetrators. To create a more civilized workplace and stop the mean-spirited in their tracks, a therapeutic injection of social awakening might be called for. But that’ll be the topic of another blog post.

6 Rules of Influence for Introverts

Janet was a rising star in her group. She was nominated to take part in our 3-month leadership program even though she wasn't yet a director in her organization. Her leadership goals for the program were to have her work results be better known by leadership, get her opinions heard when on group conference calls, and get more comfortable contributing in large meetings with high-level staff present -- objectives that she considered a bit daunting as an introvert.

Introverts are deep-thinking people who draw energy for life by engaging with the inner world of ideas, thoughts, and reflections. They enjoy the calm and silence of having time to themselves for solitary undertakings as well as small group events with those they know well. They prefer going deep on an issue to merely scratching the surface, listening and writing to talking and engaging, and developing well-thought-through ideas and plans in private before offering them up to the general public. They like to know in advance what a meeting's about and this gives them time to fully prepare. When an introvert presents a proposal, you can be sure that just about all the T's have been crossed and the I's have been dotted.

Introverts are also known for preferring to work alone, listening rather than talking in larger group settings, wanting time before responding to questions and comments, going into a great deal of depth with a topic, sometimes waiting too long to take action, and being reserved which can be interpreted as lacking energy.

If one or more of these behaviors sound familiar, you can increase your influence effectiveness when you involve others in the planning process, identify opportunities to get your voice heard, look for ways to demonstrate your keen interest in an issue, in some situations be brief instead of diving deep on a topic, take action, and get your work known.

#1 Involve Others. Introverts are reflective and like to consider ideas on their own. But without having had discussions with others to broaden their perspective, their preparation could lack sufficient breadth. A possible additional reason for not including others in the planning process is that introverts prefer quiet and privacy and tend to respect that need in others. This makes them less likely to intrude on others' time to ask for input and support in advance from key knowledge experts. If this is you, here's what you can do before influencing: use your preference for reflection and contemplation to plan out your influence content and strategy. Then get on the calendar with one or two knowledge experts and review your proposal with them before influencing. When your proposal is ready, extend that planning capability of yours to pinpoint the one or two opinion leaders who could help you sway the decision makers and get on the calendar with them as well.

#2 Get Heard. Introverts are extraordinarily good at considering a problem before leaping to a solution. They thoughtfully listen throughout a discussion and draw conclusions about a course of action or next steps. But they may not often voice those thoughts during the discussion. If you're one of these introverts get in the practice of contributing one or two short comments about what you've heard so far. Do that near the beginning and again in the middle of a discussion. At the end capture the two or three important points made during the discussion such as, "These are the three issues that stood out for me." This is just an example; use any type of summary response that suits your vocabulary. For those times when you've said nothing during the meeting itself this short summary will likely be remembered because your comments will have wrapped it up for everyone.

Also, when caught with a surprise question introverts might reflect too long before responding and quite possibly be labeled as uncertain because they couldn't come back with a quick enough reply. To give yourself time to think use a 'pause button' statement such as, "Let me think about that for a minute before I respond," or, "I'd like to consider a thoughtful response to that question before I give you an answer. I'll get back to you by XX" and state when XX is - at end of the presentation? in an hour? in a day?

A final thought on getting heard. For some introverts, when they talk they may start off strong enough but trail off at the end of their comment, or remain soft spoken throughout their contribution. You could be making a brilliant statement but if you're speaking barely above a whisper or trail off at the end, your comments may get passed over. So make it a habit to start strong and stay strong, from start to finish.

#3 Demonstrate Your Interest. Once again, the quiet and private nature of introverts occasionally leads others to wrongly assume the introverted individual lacks sufficient energy for whatever he or she is proposing. It is true that some introverts don't show a great deal of enthusiasm for their topics. The reason is not that they're not excited about their idea. It's more that their reserved nature tends to eclipse their enthusiasm and they may not display the actual passion that's behind their proposal. If this describes you, get in touch with what originally inspired you about your idea. Set aside time in advance of a discussion to engage your passion for the topic before presenting so that your high interest is evident to the decision makers. In addition and if appropriate, enroll an extraverted supporter to attend the presentation with you to inject her or his enthusiasm into the discussion. That alone will help elevate your own.

#4 Practice Brevity. Whereas extroverts must learn to talk less because of their propensity to fill the silent moments and occasionally digress from the main topic, introverts need to limit themselves as well, but for different reasons. Some introverts have a tendency to go into too much depth or over-explain things. They've gathered the data and they want to present it. But that might just be too much for some audiences. You can stop yourself from over-explaining by being short and to the point. The same advice holds for an introvert as for an extravert here: answer only the question asked, and limit your response to 15 seconds tops. Don't dilute your own good argument with extra words. If the decision maker wants more, he or she will ask for it. Get your comments and opinions down to 1 or 2 sentences that contain only the high points of what you want to convey, and do it crisply.

#5 Take Action. Introverts like to think before they act, gathering a host of details and developing plans and alternate scenarios sometimes to the point of inaction or not acting soon enough. In an effort to have a solid, well-thought-through product or proposal the introvert's ideas may miss their window of opportunity or be brought to leadership's attention faster by someone else. Don't get passed by. Decide what your first step should be to get the word out there and just take it. After that's accomplished plan your next step and take that one as well.

#6 Get Known. Introverts prefer operating behind the scenes and therefore tend to shy away from being in the limelight. Your capacity to be influential is greatly increased when you and the results you deliver are known. And while you may be keeping your manager and those around you apprised of the priority projects you're working on, leadership may be totally in the dark on who you are and what you do. Get known. Increase the number of higher-level connections you have. Put your planning skills to work - target up to three people to become acquainted with over the next six months and create a strategy for how you'll do that. Also, refer to Get Noticed at Work to learn a methodology for making the most of the occasional chance encounters you may have with leaders in your organization.

As an extrovert or introvert you may exhibit some or all of the characteristics described above for your particular personality preference. But your preferences are just that - preferences. You always have access your opposite preference. And although acting out of preference may cause discomfort and initially you may not feel like yourself, the end result may be worth the effort when you achieve success as an influencer.

The Trouble with Extroverts...

I was on a conference call the other day with eight others. Tony was leading the discussion and was outlining elements of a corporate proposal that if accepted, would result in national coaching engagements for those of us who chose to be involved.

He began by citing the three items we’d be covering on the call. “Good start” I thought. Right after that, things went down hill and fast. He jumped from one topic to the next without finishing most sentences, and gave the impression that he was formulating his thoughts as he spoke. This behavior left the rest of us on the call unclear about what he wanted from us. During the Q&A period we had to work hard to stop him from expounding on every answer. It was frustrating. In the typological speak of psychologist Carl Jung, Tony was demonstrating some of the classic extroverted behaviors.

Extroverts are approachable, friendly, outgoing people who draw energy for life by engaging with the outer world of people, places and things. They’re incomparable networkers who form alliances and make connections just about everywhere they go. They enjoy group events, prefer talking to listening, favor multi-tasking, and like bouncing their ideas off of people to gain validation and to figure out what their next actions are going to be. Extroverts are exceptionally good at responding to tough questions on the spot, whether or not they have a complete answer.

They’re also known for taking over conversations, thinking out loud even when no one is listening, presenting ideas that may not be fully baked, voicing their unedited opinions, and acting before thinking through the potential consequences. They’ve been known to drop in on people or call them without warning whenever they feel the need to talk something through. And because extroverts are action oriented, they may appear impatient.

I'm fairly extroverted so I have to keep on my toes to make sure that I listen more than I talk. If any of these behaviors above sound like you and if they're getting you into difficulty, here are 3 things you can do right away.

1. When someone presents a problem, don’t immediately come back with your solution. Instead, ask one or two questions – and wait for the answers -- before you plunge into action. Only interrupt to get some clarification or if they’re wandering off track.
2. Use others as a sounding board to get your ideas lined up before you put them before a decision maker. Using the important influence discussion to brainstorm ideas makes you look unprepared.
3. I’ve said this before but it deserves a repeat performance here, answer only the questions asked, and limit your comments to 10 seconds – 15 seconds max. Why so short? You can dilute your own good argument with extra words. People have short attention spans, especially if they want to get a word in themselves. So the longer you talk, the less people listen.

According to Otto Kroeger in his book Type Talk at Work (with Janet Thuesen and Hile Rutledge, Dell Publishing, 2002, p. 28), 75% of the U.S. population are extroverted. Not so good for introverts at work. Before too long I'll post some suggestions for how introverts can hold their own in conversations with the extroverted crowd.

Customer Service Is a Thriving Art at Wells Fargo Bank

When Wells Fargo Bank launched what I call their let’s-be-friends-with-our-customers campaign a couple of years ago in their branch banks, I hated it.  I’m an ATM user, but once in a while work-related banking issues needed a discussion with a live person, so I’d venture in.  And that’s when I’d be hit with the warm and fuzzy banking staff treating me as though we’d been buds for years.  First stop was the greeter who’d ask how my day was going. Crappy, thank you very much.  The “bankers” who’d smile and give me a Queen of England half-wave as I stepped into the business banking line. Did I know them well enough for that kind of greeting? Hardly.  And then there was the teller experience.  “Did you do anything special this weekend?” I’d be asked. Was I going to tell a complete stranger anything about my personal life?  I doubt it. It all seemed insincere and smarmy.  That is until this week.

I had a $100 Verizon rebate card from my recent Motorola Droid purchase. Since it could be cashed in, on Wednesday I stopped into Wells for what I thought would be a quick transaction.  I was welcomed with the usual, “How’s your day going?”  “Fine, thanks, and yours?”  The teller seemed surprised that I’d asked.  “I’m here to cash in this rebate card from Verizon.”  “Oh” she said, “Our system is working very slowly today, so this might take a few minutes.”  “Okay, I said.”  The teller got so focused on trying to put through the transaction, that the usual back-and-forth chit chat about the beautiful weather we’re having or the how my business is going didn’t happen, so I pulled out my Droid and started reading a New York Times article. Three articles and 15 minutes later I was informed that I’d need to come back the next day since the Wells computers weren’t able to connect with the Verizon Citibank system.  “My only concern” I said, “is that since the card was put through so many times, the $100 might have inadvertently been wiped out.”  “That would NEVER happen,” she assured me. “Okay, thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

As I walked out, Lisa, the branch manager, stopped me and sincerely apologized for the system glitches. She suggested that when I come back, I see her personally and that she’d handle the process for me.  I wasn’t expecting that type of customer service and was thankful for it. The whole process had been frustrating and I appreciated Lisa’s willingness to extend her personal service to me. 

Good thing Lisa was willing to help.  Because as it turned out, the $100 was taken off my card (I checked on line the next day), showing there was a pending payment to Wells Fargo for that amount.  With the printed transaction information in hand, I went back to Wells on Friday.

Lisa went beyond what I would have expected. Not only did she thoroughly check the Wells records for transactions over the past 2 days, she phoned Verizon to find out what went wrong and how the situation could be rectified. Within the hour, she faxed banking information to Verizon corporate.  She then called me a couple of hours later to ask me to check on line to see if the $100 had been back into my Verizon card account, and that if it wasn’t, she was willing to call Verizon again for me.

Lisa wasn’t simply plowing through the process just to appear as though she was serving me, she was fully into making sure that I got the result I was looking for, even though it was no longer a Wells problem, but a Verizon issue.  Now that’s customer service at its best.  I’m sure that’s why she leads the group as the branch manager.  Going the distance is an excellent leadership trait, and one that anyone can do at any level in an organization. 

Thanks Wells and thanks Lisa for the customer service focus.  The next time I’m in the bank, I’ll cheerfully have the chat with the teller. Why not? It might improve my day.

NB:  Wells faxed Verizon what they asked for and Verizon has received it.  I've had 3 more phone calls with Verizon that have eaten up at least another hour of my time. The money still is in limbo and it looks like it may be lost to me.  There are many complaints on line about Verizon rebate cards.  This is a link to just one of them.

Robert Dickman on Influencing and Storytelling

Robert (Bob) Dickman, author, master storyteller, and head of First-Voice in Los Angeles, sent an email today describing how impactful it is to persuade with a story. Here's the content of what he wrote. I thought it was so useful that it deserved its own blog post.

"800 miles off the Hawaiian coast, an oil tanker caught on fire, and the blaze moved so quickly that the captain didn’t have time to radio for help. Fortunately an American cruise ship was nearby, and the entire crew was rescued. But as the cruise ship began sailing away, someone heard barking coming from the tanker. The tanker's captain realized that his dog, a small brown and white terrier named Hokget, had been left on board. When the cruise reached port, passengers immediately alerted the Humane Society about the missing dog. Soon the news media was winging the story all around the world, and checks began pouring in. One check was for $5,000. Public pressure was so great that the US Navy and Coast Guard sent ships and planes to find Hokget. Eventually he was rescued alive and returned safely to Hawaii. It has been estimated that millions of dollars were spent in recovering that one little terrier.

What happened? Why did this dog capture the imagination and resources of all these people? After all, we live in a world where millions of children (as well as countless dogs and cats) go hungry every day. This little terrier had a name and his plight was told as a story rather than a statistic. People responded because they felt something immediate and visceral. They were moved to take action. Statistics and abstractions don’t make people act, stories do.

When facts and emotion combine to produce a story, people will act. Facts alone are too distant and cold. They produce indifference."

Bob Dickman is offering his half-day workshop on storytelling on August 21st. In it Bob says you'll work on your story in a positive, engaging and creative environment, practice and improve your story making abilities, and then be able to turn indifference into action.

You can see more about Bob Dickman and his work at First Voice or contact him directly at 310.394.8829. Bob's book is The Elements of Persuasion: Use Storytelling to Pitch Better, Sell Faster & Win More Business.

Staying fit isn't easy

I've been consumed with thoughts of keeping in good physical shape since I was in my mid-20s. And because I come from a gene pool of slim people, and because I'm fairly active, I've told myself over the years that I don't need to actually do much to ensure that I stay fit. Of course, anybody knows how wrong that is. Although I might be thin enough, I'm still losing muscle mass, which inconveniently converts to fat. And that speeds up after age 40. Ugh!

Over the years I've gone on many short-lived physical fitness kicks. I've spent more money on books, tapes, DVDs, and home equipment than I care to let on about. I've joined gyms and never gone. Signed up for classes I've never finished. The list goes on. 

What's been wrong is that I've been viewing fitness NOT as a lifestyle, but with an I'll-do-it-when-I-have-time or I'll-do-it-when-I-gain-a-clothing-size short-term transactional mindset. But it's a way of life! What a wake up call!

Once a week I'm going to post on my progress in shifting to this new way of thinking and being. I know this change will affect every aspect of my life.

You can't please everyone, but that didn't stop me from trying!

In my blog post yesterday I wrote about the soundbite strategy for getting noticed. I dropped the words “kick-ass” and turned an attention-getting first-paragraph into something I considered boring and vanilla. “Safe” I’d call it. And all because I didn’t want to offend anyone. Yawn.

Seconds after I expunged the evil “kick-ass” from my post, I mourned its loss. I mean, It’s so descriptive. It says it all. It got me thinking about all the ways I could have used it to describe events of this past week. Like on Tuesday when I bought those kick-ass Jimmy Choo flats and have been so in love with them that I’ve worn them everywhere but to bed for the last 3 days. Or last Saturday when I made that kick-ass video for the Oprah OWN TV contest for a chance to get my own TV talk show on the Oprah network.

What I'm saying here is that if we play it too safe - and I'm talking about me - then the best of who we are may get lost along the way.

Am I offending anyone yet?

Promote Yourself With Soundbites

I often hear men and women at work talk about how they hate the idea of having to promote their accomplishments just to get their work noticed, and instead wish that the results they deliver could just speak for themselves.

If you're one of those people, and you'd like to get some attention on your work without having to wait until someone notices you, or without having your update sound like pure self promotion, you can begin using the soundbite strategy for getting your work noticed.

Within the last couple of weeks, how many times have you run into leaders at work who've asked, “Hey, how are things going?” or "What's happening?" and all you were prepared to say was, “great, “fine,” or “not too much” and then hurriedly move on? These chance encounters are your soundbite opportunities – those 15-second responses that give leaders the inside information on what might be of interest to them in your world relative to their world. 

Here's how you can put your soundbite strategy in motion.

1. List the 3 most important people who should know about you/your work/your team's work and who you're likely to run into in the hallways, elevator, cafeteria, in a meeting, or elsewhere on your work campus.

2. Next, list the 2-3 high-profile projects you're working on right now. Catalogue the top 2 recent accomplishments as well as the key 1 or 2 milestones you're expecting to accomplish and when. These are highlights only – soundbites – not a long list of what's going on.

3. Then, jot down the professional events you'll be attending or where you've been invited to present or speak, whether inside the company or outside at a professional event, and any important meetings or events you've got planned or are facilitating.

4. Finally, get your one or two 15-second soundbites ready for each of the 3 people on your list.

Here's an example of how well this worked for someone I know. In her words, she wrote: “I was riding in the elevator just this morning and saw a senior leader. He asked, ''What's up?' and I said, 'I'm very excited to be holding our first ever xyz meeting today that covers abc.' And his response was, 'Where and when; I'll be there!'   He showed up and supported me all the way. Amazing! If I hadn't had my soundbite ready, I would have missed a golden opportunity.”

Not being ready with information that the leaders in your organization would find interesting or useful for their own work is one of the biggest professional mistakes you can make. Because while you're hurrying on by, many of your co-workers likely are stopping, if only for the moment, to let those leaders in on what's happening with their projects, with their teams, or what's new on the horizon. And that's how they get known and how you might not. When you get your soundbite strategy in place, you can be sure that the next time you run into one of these important leaders and they ask, “Hey, how are things going?” you'll have a ready response.

Crisis at Work? Eat an English Muffin.

Just about an hour ago I found out that site access to our influence e-learning tools was down. Although our site server was up, the server we use to house our videos was not. That meant that the leaders from across the globe attending tomorrow's webinar (the 4th of 6 in the influence series), would unlikely be able to view the 6 short e-learning videos on our site in prep for the session. Frustrating, becuase this is the second time in 2 weeks that this has happened and.  What to do? 

Toast an organic whole wheat english muffin, smear it with lingonberry jam, make a soy chai, and, after taking a few deep breaths, consider my options.

Why a muffin and chai at a time when seemingly quick action needs to be taken? Soothing, very soothing. Becuase it's almost always a mistake to go crazy about something like this, or dive in too quickly, before a good plan is hatched. So over the muffin and chai I developed a work-around.

Since the server site was down, I could not call them (no way to get their #), so I put a back-up plan into action right away.  I emailed the people attending the webinar to let them know the situation and tell them my work-around (download the PDFs of the material and read it rather than watch the videos of it), then I put in a support ticket to the server site. And since I was so calm about it all (yes, the english muffin did work!), I was able to think clearly about a next step. I signed up immediately with another server and we began uploading our videos to there.  

I didn't "lose it" and we got the job done.

Over the years I've realized that there's little to be gained (and a lot to be lost) in getting all ferklempt and losing perspective at a time when straight thinking is required.

So the next time I'm hit with a potentially hair-on-fire situation, I'll probably do a couple of yoga poses, then spin into action. That way my brain won't get left behind in a pile of crazy emotions.

Need a life change? Ask yourself 4 questions.

Although Susan Adams’ short article in Forbes is more about what you can do when you want/need a completely new career, you can ask yourself these questions at any point in your life to get a few of the things you hate off your plate and replace them with what you love:

1. "What do I hate?”
2. “What do I love?”
3. “What do I never want to do again?”
4. “If I could do only one thing all day, what would that be?”

My mind is full of answers, so I’m going to type them up right now.

If you follow the In Pictures link in Adams' article, you’ll see her 6 suggestions for when you want to start yourself on the career-changing road. It doesn’t seem like there’s much new – we already know this stuff – talk to someone who already has the job you want, network, volunteer, go back to school, etc., but it’s useful information to keep in mind.

Here's a list of Susan Adams’ other recent career articles in Forbes on line, in case you're interested in what she has to say about careers and career change.

Tell Someone Your Goals for the Year

It’s Saturday and a gorgeous January day in San Francisco, so I walked to the neighborhood to have lunch with a long-time friend and career mastermind partner. We were talking about our themes and intentions for 2010.  And although I’ve had mine in place for some weeks now, I hadn’t yet said, out loud, to anyone buy myself, what I’m intending for myself for the year.

Some of us have intentions, others might call them goals. But however we refer to them, it comes down to what we hope to accomplish this year. And keeping that information to ourselves leaves a little too much wiggle room.

What I got from my conversation today was more clarity on how I was going to go about making my intentions a reality. If I hadn’t had the discussion, if I hadn’t put it out there just to hear myself say the words, I wouldn’t have gotten the feedback that great questions and a lively exchange bring.

So if you’ve got goals for this year, tell someone. You'll likely get outstanding input. And even if you don’t, saying it just makes it much more real.

From Cattle Exchange to Paper Money - a Brief History of Payment Exchanges

I finally opened some December mail today. It's a problem I've had most of my adult life - letting unimportant mail pile up until I get sick of looking at it. And then in about an hour, everything's been opened, read, saved or thrown. Done!

American Express sent me a wall calendar this year.  I didn't think anyone did that anymore. It's a marketing piece with a huge 2010 on the front and an intriguing subtitle: "A Brief History of How the World Gets Paid."  I was drawn in.  Each month chronicles the evolution of value exchange since 9000 BC. 

Here it is: 

• 9000 B.C. "Before there was money, there was barter. People had to trade livestock for goods of equal value. And of course, the most prized form of 'currency' was cattle. You could never have too big a herd."
• 1200 B.C. "The Chinese started swapping cowry shells" as the first form of physical currency.
• 1000 B.C. Ingots and stores of grain were traded in ancient Mesopotamia (now mostly Iraq and parts of Syria, Iran, and Turkey).
• 900 B.C. Base metals replace cowry shells in China. These are the earliest metal coins.
• 500 B.C. The Romans, Greeks, and Persians decide that precious metals are the way to go coin-wise, and faces of gods and emperors are stamped on them so that you could tell they were authentic.
• 269 B.C. Bags of salt are used to pay soliders in the Roman Empire. Salt was a good meat preserver so it had value to those living off the land.
• 118 B.C. The first banknote is used - again a Chinese invention. Not paper, of course, but square pieces of deerskin leather with colorful borders.
• 806 A.D.  The Chinese design a paper banknote and call it "flying money" because in a high wind, it could just float away, I guess.  They then had to invent the paperweight to keep the money grounded!

Time Passes

• 1690 Massachusetts Bay Colony issues its first paper money in the colonies. I'm from Massachusetts originally - go Bay State!
• 1871 Telegram sends wired money transfers. These were the first "electronic" payments. We've come a long way, baby!
• 1914 U.S. Presidents' faces get stamped on the $5, $10, $20 and $50 dollar bills. Smacks of ancient Rome, yes?
• 2009 Ah yes, here's where the Amex marketing comes in: Amex's new online invoicing system, AcceptPay(SM), is launched. 

Well, now that I've just taken up 30 of my allotted 60 minutes to zip through my mail, I think I'll call it a day. Oh wait, I'm tossing out the calendar in the recycle bin, just like I do every other piece of paper mail I get.  When will it end???? 

Help for Haiti is Just a Text Message Away

One text sends $10 to the Red Cross for Haiti relief.   1,000,000 texts send $10M to the Red Cross!

As we all know, thousands have died, and many thousands more are missing in the Caribbean’s poorest country due to this devastating quake.  KDFC, our local classical radio station in San Francisco, just announced an easy way we can all help, with just $10, the tens of thousands suffering in Haiti from the quake yesterday.

Text the word  Haiti  to  90999 and the Red Cross gets the aid money desperately needed to help in the aftermath.  The Red Cross will text you back immediately asking you to confirm your $10 with a Yes.

I just did that and I’m almost overcome with how good it feels to be part of, hopefully, millions of people doing the same to help those who most need us now.

The Intentions Event, a Day With Miracle Workers

I ran an event on Saturday for the 10th time – the Annual Intentions Event. What started in January 2001 as a gathering of a few women in my living room, has become an annual happening, this year with 40 women in attendance.

Here’s a picture of 23 of the women who were there.

 
We don’t make resolutions or set goals. Not that goals aren’t good; they can be. But my experience with resolutions and goals is that they seem like such struggle. So at the event, women in small groups set their themes and intentions for the year.

A theme could be anything from business growth to personal rejuvenation, to smart financial decision-making, to being known for a special talent that you want to demonstrate or acquire. They start with, “This is my year for…” and end with an inspirational declaration that says it all for what this year is going to be about. Like, “This is my year for…” “…going where I’ve never gone before.”   “…being deliberate about my life,” “…being smart about money,” “…adding joy to my every-day life,” “…moving up in my career,” or “…taking the stress out of life.” Themes are our guides.

At the event his year, some themes sounded like this, “This is my year for strength and courage.” “This is my year for saying “no” to unfulfilling activities.” “This is my year for finishing what I’ve started.”

Intentions were designed around those themes, and they are our aims for the year, and are the realization of one or more visions of pictures of the future that we have for ourselves. They’re both aspirational and inspirational – aspirational in that they’re clear states of what we’re moving toward, and inspirational in that when you read yours, your energy level rises significantly.

They can start with words like, “By the end of this year I will have…” and follow with statements like “…made my garden into a sanctuary,” “…gotten the job of my dreams,” “…taken at least one vacation that’s good for my soul.”

I left the event on Saturday feeling inspired by the women in the room. Because when we all zero in on what we love, and make a commitment to a year of that, that’s nothing short of feeling like a day of miracles.

New Year's Resolutions. Why bother?

I find that making resolutions at the start of the year - or anytime, for that matter - isn't all that it's cracked up to be.  In the moment, in the rush to be a member of that resolution-making in-group, I jump in and say I'm going to do this or that, like lose 10 pounds or get fit... the usual things I say to myself every year. For my friends it's things like: do whatever it takes to meet ms. or mr. perfect, leave that crappy job, write a book, take that spiritual trip to Machu Picchu.

We make those promises. And in the moment we're determined to make them happen. But then in a few hours, days, or weeks when all hell breaks loose in the rest of our busy lives, we notice that we've forgotten about keeping up with the pledge.  

And then we spend the rest of the year mentally battering ourselves because we didn't follow through.

I've given up on making resolutions altogether. After all, when I think about the word as a verb - to resolve - it sounds like a lot of struggle. And why keep pushing the rock uphill?

Instead, I set a theme for the year and then a few intentions (usually 3) around that theme. For the theme, I start with, "This is the year of..."   or "This is the year for..."  and then I fill in the blank. 

And then I set intentions. Intentions. That's a fun word. One of the meanings is "to aim."  Yes, I have a place I'd like to get to - it's a future state that has a more positive association to it. So rather than say, "I'm going to lose 10 pounds," I say, "I intend to be healthy." And that might mean losing 10 pounds or it might mean a lot of other things, too.

Here's my theme for this year:  "Finishing what I've started."

One intention is to "Every day, expereience the joy in life."   I'll set my other couple of intentions this Saturday with a room full of great women when I run the Annual Intentions Event.  And if you're reading this and you're one of the people coming to the event, I'll see you there!

Meanwhile, if you use the theme and intentions method this year, how's it going? I'd love to hear your comments.

Layoffs - the heartwrenching backdrop for the movie, Up in the Air

Up in the Air, a new movie with George Clooney, is about a solitary guy who, as a terminator-for-hire, lays people off in various companies around the country.  I left the theatre with a lump in my chest.

The number of companies that have downsized in the last year – actually the last 30 years – is countless. So many, that I’ve gotten almost numb to the news.  Stories like, such and such company “reduces its workforce by X"  (just insert any number:  5,000, 10,000) land on only the business pages, or even just page 2, of most newspapers, and get only sideline mention on many news sites.

I can thank this movie for reminding me that there are real people losing jobs – real people with home loans that could go under, rents that can’t be paid, kids who’ll suffer.  And it could happen to any one of us at any time.

This movie has also driven home the importance of being caring, compassionate leaders in a world where we may be leading the next round of layoffs. Jason Reitman, the movie's director, used several real people who had been laid off.  Heartwrenching.

See Frank Rich's OpEd article in Sunday's (12/13) NYTimes for his perspective on the movie's backstory of the downsizing issue this year.   

Have you been laid off?  Do you know someone close to you who has? How humane was the company in the way it handled the process?

James Westphal and His Brown-Nose Quiz

Thanks to Del Jones of USAToday and his Tweet (@jonesdel) a couple of hours ago with a link to this quiz, which I took, and caused me to have to write this post!

James Westphal, a University of Michigan business strategy professor, has come up with a 5-question brown-nosing assessment that I find completely annoying.

Here’s one of the 5 questions: “Have you expressed to the boss that you enjoy working with him/her?”

If you answer, “yes,” that puts you in the brown-noser category.

Another question whose “yes” answer is considered brown-nosing is, ”Did the boss make an insightful comment about an important strategic issue and you complimented him/her?”

Nothing wrong with telling your boss that you enjoy working with her/him or sending praise their way as long as it’s deserved.

But Westphal's quiz doesn’t take that aspect into account. It’s all too black and white. If you do these things, you’re simply a brown-noser. And by the way, that’s such an outdated word. I mean, who uses that term anymore anyway? Is this 1950? Update yourself, James!

When I was in the first grade, my teacher, Miss McNeil, used to send me on special errands to the principal’s office or to other teachers’ rooms to get supplies and things like that. Miss McNeil liked me and I really liked her. After a while the other girls in my class started making fun of me, saying things like, “Ooooo, teacher’s pet, teacher’s pet.”

Ouch! That’s hard for a 6 year-old to hear. But I persevered. After all, there are perks that go along with being liked.

Was I brown-nosing? Probably, as far as James Westphal is concerned. After all, I’m sure I told her I liked her. And that’s what probably kicked it all off.

My advice? If someone does something well and you appreciate it, tell them.

The 100-day Wrap-Up

My 100-day journey finished up on 8/31.  Oh yes, I know that today is 10/29 and that I'm just writing about the end of the journey now.  Not sure why I've waited so long. Maybe because I started to backslide a touch at the end of August and didn't want to write about it.  Nonetheless, there was so much that happened this summer to get me to where I am right now that I just want to say it out loud here.

Negotiation, Deborah Kolb, and The Simmons School of Management.

Last night I was at an alumnae event for my graduate business school, Simmons College School of Management (Boston - all women). Our speaker was Deborah Kolb, the Deloitte Ellen Gabriel Professor for Women and Leadership, Faculty Affiliate, Simmons Center for Gender in Organizations, and Ph.D., Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Deborah is a powerhouse and a great speaker. Her topic was women and negotiation, something she’s an expert on, having written several books – The Shadow Negotiation and Her Place at the Table – are two that I highly recommend. From 1991-1994 she was the Executive Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project at Harvard Law School. For more on Deb Kolb you can go here.

Here are a few excerpts that stood out for me from her excellent presentation.

Women Ask:  Negotiation -- a word that causes most people to shudder. If you query women about the last time they negotiated, Kolb said, “they’ll tell you it was last week , or maybe even last month. “ But if you ask them when the last time was that they asked for something, she says most will answer, “yesterday” or “today.”

Kolb's research shows that when you change from “negotiate for” to “ask” it seems that women are doing it all the time! Because after all, what is negotiation but a situation where you ask for something and then enter into a back-and-forth discussion about coming to an outcome that satisfies all parties.

Women are expert at negotiating for others. Another comment Kolb made was that research shows that women excel at asking (negotiating) for others, such as their teams, and lobbying for the best outcomes, but are less likely to go the distance to negotiate for themselves, especially around money.

This reminded me of the enabling and disabling perspective discussion I’ve been having with people for the last 10+ years. Given what Kolb talked about, it’s not that women don’t have the skills to negotiate, it’s more that a disabling perspective, such as, “I won’t get what I’m asking for,” or “I’m asking for too much” kicks in. Adopting a more enabling perspective, e.g., “I’m worth every penny (and then some) that I’m asking for,” and fully believing it, is likely to result in a better outcome. Note:On October 28, my leader tip will be on enabling and disabling perspectives. I’ll use a negotiation example to bring it to life. You'll be able to find that tip on our site, The Women's Edge in Leading.

Plan for Roadblocks. In negotiations where you’re asking for a title change, more money, more responsibility, etc., anticipate the 5 barriers you might encounter and have ready answers for each. such as: “You’re not ready for this level of responsibility.” “You’re asking for too much money.” “I’m not the one who’s making the final decision on this.” “If I move you into that job, I’ll have no one to take over what you’re doing now.” “Why don’t you come back to me in a few months from now and we’ll talk about it then.”

Roadblock comments such as those above will be unique to each situation. The key is to be ready in advance for what you’ll say when these come up. Kolb suggests that you head them off at the pass by bringing up the issue first. That takes the negative energy out of it and gives you more power. For example, “You may be thinking that I’m not yet ready for this level of responsibility….” And then you go on to say, non defensively, exactly what you’ve done that makes you ready.

I loved my time at Simmons, and am proud to be a graduate. Here’s some recent news about the school.

October 21: The Simmons College School of Management in Boston has been ranked No. 15 in the "Global 100" list of business schools by the Aspen Institute in its 2010-2011 MBA ranking, "Beyond Grey Pinstripes." Simmons is the only school in Massachusetts to make the top 20 list. 

October 8: Simmons College School of Management Ranked No. 1 in the Nation for "Greatest Opportunities for Women" by Princeton Review. 

Go here for more on the Simmons College School of Management Center for Gender in Organizations 

When a Leadership or Personal Style Needs a Makeover

I've observed many leaders, both women and men, who, because they're very bright and extremely knowledgeable, appear to be going far in their careers. But at some point, they just stop. And not because they want to, but because they're not invited into the next level of leadership. There could be many reasons, but one stands out - their leadership style or their personal style is out of sync with what's expected at the level they're aiming for. Here's an example:

A senior woman's position, while it should be C-level, is not. There are other women on the senior leadership team, so it's unlikely that it's an exclusion issue. She's very bright, runs a well-functioning and highly successful unit, and she's well respected for her knowledge area.  

But here's where the problem might be. She's extremely relaxed in her style of dress and hair, whereas no one else at the top is. Her office looks like a disaster area, but impeccable neatness seems to be the rule for executives. She barks demands at her staff, yet cordiality is how work gets done in the C Suite. These types of differences, taken alone or in combination, could be the reason why she's not been invited in.

Some of these things may smack of superficiality - dress, hair, and office neatness for example. But we often are judged not on how well we perform, but on a hidden list of what's valued and what's acceptable in an organization's culture. And it doesn't always have to do with gender.